About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college English professor and writer from Chicago who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.
Recently, a new trend began sweeping the nation in which women are proposing to men. Considering that, up until recently, men proposed in nearly all previous marriages and they ended in divorce about 50 percent of the time. That means men get it wrong once out of every two times. Yet this fails to convince some that women-made proposals are probably better for everyone. Maybe women choose better. The internet has memed and mocked the crumbly outcome of proposals by “good men” like Derrick Jaxn who are narcissistic liars out to womanize. Considering that, there are plenty of reasons women should propose to men, some contend.
Why is a woman’s going after what she wants such an issue?
To begin, women who propose to men are not desperate by default. Plus, there are likely more desperate men popping the question than women, since women don’t do it often. A popular saying is, “A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.” If the notion of a woman going after what she wants is an issue, why? If the argument is soley, “She’s a woman, and women don’t propose,” whether you’re male or female, you may be a tad sexiest. Applying sets of rules based on gender is sexist on its face.
Also, some contend a woman who proposes to a man is loved less by that man than she does him. In relationships, love is measured in different ways. Does the wife-beating judge who proposes deserve a seat at the table of love over the man who actually loves his wife who proposed to him? That’s a conundrum. People weigh love differently. They express it differently. How they express that love should not be determined by gender, not in a progressive society deviating from assigned gender roles and oppressive patriarchy.
When you propose to your man and he says yes, he’s yours forever, through it all. He is pledging his love and loyalty to you. And think about it. Women who refuse to pop the question usually end up with the same man who didn’t ask for her hand or in multiple fruitless relationships. Would you rather be the stubborn one who refuses to ask a man to be yours and potentially be permanently single or put your pride aside and make your own dreams come true?
…you can not always pick up and leave…but you can proactively choose who you date or marry…
Proposing to your man gives you control. Why be a damsel in distress waiting for a man who may never arrive? Currently, society says pick from what you are offered. What if all the offerings are subpar? Those who live within the same demographic many times share the same values; so dating man person from a particular area could be the equivalent of dating them all; that is, there is no variety in their personalities.
That said, women can not always choose where and when they date. The world is bound by social constructs such as employment, raising children or functioning. Though women may not be able to just pick up and go to a new area for better pickings, they can proactively choose who they date or marry. They have been picking from the bad offerings for awhile and it has gotten them nowhere with certain men. What’s wrong with changing things up a bit and popping the question? What’s wrong with a woman saying to a man, “Would you like to go out for coffee?” or “I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
The world respects women who know what they want and how to get it.
As far as the haters, — there will be plenty — you don’t owe them an explanation. The haters judging you probably can’t even get a goodbye kiss from their “man.” You don’t have to be that woman, and you shouldn’t let what others say about you hurt you. With the haters will also come a lot of love. The world respects women who know what they want and how to get it. The love outweighs the hate. So, get the ring and claim your man.
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