About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.
In the realm of the bedroom, depending on parties involved, anything can — or can not — happen. The possibilities depends on both partners’ understanding of satisfaction and what this means. Some think satisfaction is the sweaty, breathtaking climax. In reality, satisfaction is about the ride to that climax.
You’ve been told you’re boring in bed. The other person has told you, “We should try something new. Let’s do something extreme.” In response, you secretly bought what you thought was sexy lingerie to show off your amazing breasts or giant bulge. Your partner was under enthused and your ego was deflated. What did you do wrong?
Your partner asked for a specific thing, but you did not [give them that]
To begin with, you’re attractive. Your partner knows you’re attractive. When your partner said, “Let’s do something different, something extreme”, what they meant was, something extremely different. Lingerie is different, but chances are you already have sexy boxers or bras gathering dust in the closet. Your partner asked for a specific thing, but you did not deliver. You gave them what you wanted to give them instead of what they asked for. You have left them dissatisfied.
Moreover, sex can become so routine as to be like a career your partner hates punching in for. Make sex random and spontaneous. Think about where you have not had sex and go there. Do it anywhere you legally and safely can. Make it risky and risqué.
Also, teamwork makes the dream work. If your partner wants to go somewhere sexually that you have not been, listen and consider. If your partner brings something up, respond with how you all can make this happen; do not respond with “why nots”. If you do, you come off as not wanting to. If you do not want to, say that upfront. Your partner will respect your honesty more than a thinly veiled excuse to hide your true apprehensions.
If you want to keep your partner, know your “kink level”. In other words, know how far you are willing to go and make it clear. For your partner and yourself, knowing ahead your sexual comfortability level can save many awkward conversations. What people like in the bedroom varies drastically overtime, especially if you two have been together for some time. Monotony in the bedroom is a real risk.
maybe [your sex] is not enough for your partner
Altogether, leave knowing this: if your partner says she wants to go out on more dates, renting a movie from Prime Video does not count as “going out”. When your partner speaks, listen and give them what they ask for. Though you may end the night with a breathtaking orgasm with your partner the way you like to, maybe this is not enough for your partner. You’ll say, “But they orgasmed.” They could have faked or felt as though the climax should have and could have been better. Sometimes doing your best means doing a little bit more, especially when your partner satisfies you.
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