Being Rude is Polite: A counterintuitive approach to building personal relationships

Megan thee stallion flips the bird in this picture from

About the author: Jermaine Reed, MFA is a college professor and writer from Chicago, who creates fiction, nonfiction and local and national news stories. For self-publishers, authors and other writers and Creatives, Jermaine provides proofreading on Fivver. Please join Jermaine’s email list to get notifications on new blog posts, writing advice and free books. Get his recently released Science Fiction novel A Glitch in Humanity by clicking here.

“I don’t want homemade fish tonight. I want Chinese takeout.” That statement may seem simple to most, but to some, it’s easier to just eat fish than explain why they don’t want it. Maybe the person cooking the fish under seasons it; or maybe they fry it too hard or too soft. Whatever it is, telling the person their fish is not your favorite meal may seem rude to do. However, it is these uncomfortable truths in personal relationships that strengthen them.

To continue, there are some who absolutely love gore films, while there are others who absolutely hate gore genre. If you are a hater of blood and guts but your significant other isn’t, there may be no grounds to compromise. Or so you assume. Therefore, night after night, you watch gore films with your significant other and pretend to like them. This is unhealthy for many reasons.

…you’ll be disgusted by the touch of [your spouse]

One of the most important aspects of biting your tongue is, suppressing your emotions builds resentment. It makes you disdain the person you’re with. You may begin to see them as selfish, pushy and overbearing. Soon, you’ll be disgusted by the touch of this person.

To avoid this, you must fight, be bold, maybe even rude. Tell your partner how much you dislike whatever the issue is. Explain how it bothers you, and ask that person to stop. Let them know they can watch all the murder they want outside of your time together. If they persist, draw a line and explain the repercussions. Follow through with what you say.

In other instances, being what some would call “rude” can be helpful to a friend. For example, what happens when your friend squeezes into a pair of skinny jeans three sizes too small for him? Do you tell him those are a perfect fit for him and try to boost his self-esteem when his jeans burst at the seams on the club’s dance floor? Or do you say, “Tony, maybe you should pick a different pair of jeans”? What would a real friend do?

Be confident and vocal

Though being polite is expected, being “rude” is sometimes necessary. It may be the difference between your happiness or someone else’s. Being frank might rub some people the wrong way, but those who matter will get it. Be confident and vocal. Never hold your tongue when speaking up can make the difference.

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Published by J Reed

J Reed is a Chicago-based fiction writer. When he isn't making a pretense of writing, he's making a pretense of working.

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