Online Dating: Getting the Girl Language

Man and woman on date. Photo from Pew Research Center.

When you and a woman connect online, you have both already seen each other’s pictures, so you know there’s a physical attraction. But how do you go from screen to in-person? It comes down to how you say whatever you say not just what you’re saying.

Your goal is to use good grammar and punctuation, but if you’re already good at these things, you may be losing the attention of women to men who aren’t. The average person is an ok writer at best. They use informal expressions, and when they’re trying to sound at least coherent in writing, they try to write better. Their “better” usually amounts to not so great punctuation, a bunch of acronyms, misspellings and so on. You might cringe at this, but this is what many women see from men and have come to expect.

Most men are asking [a woman] her schedule and when they can see her.

If you’re already an above-average writer, when you text even informally, you perfect your writing, but this is costing you potential love interests. Many women are used to being better writers than men. When your texts are polished, you put pressure on them to keep up. They don’t want to come off as bad writers.

Also, the content of your conversation is probably killing the vibes before they even start. Politics, the state of the country and humanitarian issues dominate your conversation. You want to know how she feels about these things. Most men are asking her schedule and when they can see her. You’re dealing in theory; they’re dealing in practice.

Tweak the content of you conversation for better results.

To be more successful in online dating, use more acronyms. Don’t be afraid to drop off some “ings” or use some internet speak. When you’re in Alaska, you have to do what the Alaskans do, or you’ll freeze. That’s a terrible figure of speech, but you get the point.

Ask a woman what side of town she’s from and what her schedule is. This shows her you have interest in meeting. Before asking her, make sure you have something in mind. If she’s the type for coffee at your place, make an offer. If she’s a stroll-on-the-beach gal, get your beach towels. Either way, be prepared to see her.

The above noted, take some time to read over some of your past messages. See what seemed to work and what didn’t. Change your language. Be less formal. Tweak the content of you conversation for better results. In the end, changing your language will change everything.

Thanks for reading. J. Reed is a writer and self-proclaimed savant from Chicago. Follow his blog.

Published by Professor J

Professor J is a professor, author, poet and screenwriter.

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